


A Splash of Colour

by flashforeward



Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 13:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18074594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashforeward/pseuds/flashforeward
Summary: I know you'll hate me for this, but please don't write back.





	A Splash of Colour

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Deifire for beta reading.

He's read the letter so many times, the paper has started to tear along the folds and he's cried enough that tears distort some of the ink, but even if the letter became unreadable, he's basically memorized the whole thing.

__

> _Dear Eric_

Who knew Adam Groff could write in cursive?

__

> _I know you'll hate me for this, but please don't write back. There's no privacy here and if I got a letter from you, I'd have to answer so many questions. How am I supposed to explain you to these assholes when I can barely explain you to myself?_

He _does_ hate it, and _God_ he's _furious_. He doesn't want to be someone's dirty little secret. He fought hard to be proud of who he is, to shed the shame. He's not going to let Adam shove him back into a closet.

But.

He also understands.

Adam hasn't had that fight for himself yet. Hasn't had a lot of fights yet. He's been too busy taking his fear and anger at his father out on his peers - Eric especially. And Eric hates him for it, hates that Adam took his own torment out on people who had nothing to do with it. Eric _hates_ him, but. He gets it, too.

And he feels like such a trope - bullied gay kid cutting his bully slack? Falling for his bully? If his life were a TV show, he would have stopped watching.

But it's not at TV show. It's his life and Adam. Adam _fucking_ Groff, his tormentor, kissed him so gently. Touched him with tenderness and care.

There're so many layers to this, to Adam, to them. So much to peel back and scrutinize. Maybe it's better he _doesn't_ write back.

For now.

__

> _I want to apologize._

Eric scoffs every time he gets here.

__

> _I treated_ (crossed out) _I treat you like shit and you don't deserve it._

"Damn right!"

__

> _You're so brave and beautiful. You know who you are and what you want. It's cliche as fuck, but I'm jealous._

It is cliche, but Eric's too surprise that Adam used the word correctly to even roll his eyes.

__

> _You're this bright beacon and I spent so much effort trying to snuff you out. There's nothing I can say to take that away. Nothing can erase the hurt I caused. But, for what it's worth, I am sorry. I left before I could say this to you in person, so I hope this can at least be a start._

Eric doesn't know if he forgives Adam. He likes him - why the _fuck_ does he like _Adam fucking Groff_? But he's still mad. He's hurt. One hook up and secret touches in class can't fix everything Adam put him through.

They _need_ to talk, air all this baggage out. But Adam got shipped off before they had the chance and now Eric's full of questions and worries. He's afraid when Adam gets home, they'll be right back where they started. He's afraid Adam just needed a body and Eric was convenient.

And he's afraid of how much he wants this, whatever it is, to continue and to grow. To become something real.

__

> _I hope you stay true to yourself trom_ (crossed out) _Eric. You're a splash of colour in a monochromatic world. Shine on._
> 
> _Love,  
>  Adam_

Eric cries a lot at the end. It sounds so final, like they'll never see each other again.

It's that more than anything that makes him want to write back, turn this into a dialogue. He's worried and angry and frustrated and he has a lot to say and it's hard not to write back. Hard to just tuck Adam's letter away and try to be content. 

But he does. For now.

For Adam.


End file.
